In 2017, when I was gearing up to attend a Women’s March, I wrote down my answer to the question “Why I March.” And this is what I wrote:
“Because I believe in a peaceful world and equality for all. When humans take the time to know and love ourselves, the trickle down effect is a peaceful humanity.”
I recently saw Chelsea Handler perform on her latest book tour. I had not read her new book Life Will Be the Death of Me, since everyone who attends her show receives a free copy (yay to free stuff). Shockingly, her performance evoked memories of this quote and its significance, in my life and in our humanity. Unbeknownst to me, her latest book and tour discuss her transformation from a person driven by aggitation and a lack of empathy to a person striving to be empathic, mindful and positively impactful on those around her. She accomplished this through therapy and meditation which ultimately lead to her dealing with grief and trauma caused by losing her brother at a young age.
She describes her transformation:
“My whole career is based on oversharing, and making people feel like they’re not alone,” Handler said. “Finally, I found something to overshare that was actually important, which was unlocking my childhood trauma, the unlocking of grief and being able to sit with a therapist and cry in front of somebody, which is something I’ve never been able to do. It was a huge wakeup call for me, and I’m so much more grounded and normal now. I can actually pay attention without picking up my phone 15 times” (Source: Tampa Bay Times).
As Handler puts it: “we all have grief… and trauma. We all have things that we haven’t dealt with and we’ve brushed under the rug.” Sometimes, we may not think that our inner turmoil matters or that it is serious enough to focus on. But, our turmoil impacts our well being.
It made me reflect on myself, my issues and my self care. For me it is time to dust off my meditation mat and get to work! In a world of constant activity, stimulations and distractions (hello Internet), it is easy… actually natural… to avoid spending time with our feelings, to avoid knowing our selves and to deal with our issues. But if we can’t be alone with ourself, then how do we expect to forge meaningful relationships with others?
So, why are we talking about this on a blog about Women in Technology? Because self care is important to everyone’s success in both the professional world, and in our personal lives. Our professional lives are built on forging relationships. Quality relationships are built on compassion, empathy and authenticity. Good leaders allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to embrace these qualities… and this often hinges on us dealing with our own inner turmoil.
And most importantly, changing ourselves can change the world. And this is where the trickle down effect occurs, as our empathy, vulnerability and compassion will inspire the same in others. And it really can lead to a peaceful humanity. I have a sticker on my guitar that says Compassion is Revolution
…And it is truly possible for us to start our own revolutions.
Photo Credits: Good Free Photos (Free Use Image) / Amazon (Book Cover) / Me (Guitar)
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